I love good sneezes. You know, the kind that explodes, and you feel like your body comes alive with a forceful cleanse that awakens every cell in your body.
At least that’s how I felt for the first five. By the eleventh sneeze, I could hear my daughter call out, “Bless You!” By the fifteenth sneeze, her kind gesture turned into a bellow of “Stop sneezing already!”
But then she said something that struck me. She said, “Sounds like you are sneezing your sinus infection out.” I stopped and told her she was probably right. But then, I decided that this is what my first blog was going to be about. Sneezing.
You see, two months ago, I started waking up with migraines and massive sinus congestion. I have suffered from sinusitis every season of every year, but this time it didn’t seem like it was going away.
Now, as someone trying to change some things around to the positive, I did everything I could think of. Many crunchy mamas out there may suggest taking some root that I have never heard of, much less ever seen in any store around here, but I did the best that I could with the arsenal of information that I currently have.
My crystals were out in the blue moon. I started going back to the chiropractor. I hung eucalyptus in the shower. I take a handful of vitamins each day, including a D3, two airborne, two whole food multivitamins, a hair and nails, Omega3, two echinacea, and a Partridge in a Pear Tree. This is on top of my daily medication for bipolar.
I called urgent care. Since I am allergic to so many antibiotics, they were hesitant about prescribing me one. They suggested that I start taking Zyrtec D. Okay- but I made the mistake of taking it at the same time as my other prescribed med twice- landing me on the couch or in bed, missing work because I had such a horrible migraine (which resulted in taking my migraine medication and four Ibuprofen.
Since then, I have broken down after missing yet another day of work. I went to the doctor. First, she gave me a cream for my Tinea Versicolor- a type of yeast that grows on the skin that has been a come and go nuisance on the top of my belly for the past few years. She then prescribed me an antibiotic unrelated to the family I am allergic to and replaced my Flonase with Nasonex.
Although I am aware I have just been mitigating the symptoms and not resolving the problem of my ongoing sinus infection- I realized that once again, even though I was getting rid of the condition, I was still not getting the problem solved of why it keeps happening in the first place. A referral to an Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor followed, along with a referral to an allergist.
I stopped to think about all of this tonight. I started to believe that I am 37 years old and feel like my body is disintegrating more and more. Following my return home to Upstate, NY, two years ago, I have gained 50 pounds. My hair, which has always been thin, is getting thinner. My skin goes through periods of breakouts. I suffer from horrible PMS. My gums are bleeding on and off. My skin is relatively complex- dry in some areas and oily in others. My libido is like a rollercoaster. I can barely breathe and have no physical endurance because I work a sedentary job (though mentally demanding), and the last thing I ever want to do is exercise. I stay up until midnight (sometimes later) and fuel my morning after sleeping in until the last minute with caffeine. I rarely eat correctly during the day- kicking myself in the ass when I stop and pick up fast food for the family because I am just too damn tired to cook (or I just forgot to take the meat out of the freezer to make a meal out of). Lest not forget- migraines, mania, and my everlasting sinus congestion that make my eyeball feel like it will pop out of my head.
As I sat here with a sneezing fit- I realize holy cow. For someone who loves yoga and a good wholesome diet, wants to sleep well, be in nature, and live as holistically as possible (as well as eco friendly), I am FAILING BIG TIME!
This isn’t a post bashing myself. Instead, it is a staunch realization of modern healthcare (well, sick-care) and the lack of responsibility I have taken to make some right decisions. I work three jobs (by choice), spend too much and save too little, run a household, engage in online learning for both personal and professional reasons, and can manage the shit out of twenty things at one time.
But, I can’t make simple decisions (oh which I have the knowledge to do) that could prevent and cure most of the ailments listed above. Simple fucking choices.
Instead, I walk into my bedroom (that still smells like smoke even though I gave up the habit months ago) sneezing relentlessly and hearing my daughter suggest the I am sneezing my sinus infection away.
Letting my body do what it needs to, to heal.
Now, here comes the journey to start applying that wisdom.
Here is my story…